Back when I did a few posts on old-school track planning for a small streetcar layout that didn’t have any switches, I thought I was doing something new and interesting. It turns out I thought too highly of myself, Linn Westcott had already walked down that path in A railroad without switches in the March '55 issue and Spectacle-shaped track plans in the September '56 issue of Model Trains, and walked it better than me. Those layouts weren’t specifically aimed at streetcar setups; they were just interesting track plans. It makes me wonder what they might look like with streetcar limited 9-inch radius curves – could be an interesting winter project.
[6] I’ve made my own attempts at Moore-ian tall tales. One was for Mr. Buschel's Barrel and Marble Works. Here are a couple more pieces setting the scene for as yet undesigned and unbuilt projects. The first is for a winery. Mr. Moore had a go at a brewery with the F and M Schaefer Brewery project in the March '67 issue of Railroad Model Craftsman, so maybe this is a possible 21th century follow-up.
Ma’s County Winery
It all started with a phone call from Cousin Cal one Friday morning last May. I got to my office a little late that day as there was an unusually long line of people ordering complicated mocha-latte-grande-double/doubles with sprinkles and such at the café downstairs. All I wanted was black coffee to go. When I finally got to the counter the simplicity of my order confused them a bit and slowed down things even more. By the time I had gotten my drink and climbed the stairs to my office, I could hear the phone ringing inside. But luck was with me, and I was able to get the fiddly lock on the office door to spring and I made a dash to the phone before it stopped wailing.
I grabbed the receiver with my free hand and balanced my coffee with the other.
“You gotta get over here right now!” Cal was sounding flustered and forgetting the pleasantries of civilized conversation.
“Cal, you gotta work on your manners. Where’s the ‘hello’? Where’s the ‘how are you’?” While I was giving him the Dear Abby routine I put the steaming cup on my desk, cracked open the blinds to let some light in, and then proceeded to forget my own manners as I settled back in my chair, “Why are you calling?”
I started to sip on my coffee while Cal gave me the particulars. He seemed to have calmed a bit, “Ma’s got it in her head that she’s gonna expand her old winery down in the County. She saw on the inter-tubes that the Chinese are out buying up every drop of wine in the world for the next few years. She figures now’s her chance to cash in big on her organic artisanal hipster wine. Expand production and all.”
Cal was getting wound up again. I jumped in and let him catch his breath, “That old winery needs to be demolished. It’ll never produce more than those few bottles she stashes away each winter. A new winery is what’s called for.” I started to muse a bit on this thing as the coffee kicked in, “She’s gotta have a rail siding for getting the stuff up to buyers; there’s gotta be some sort of olde-timey tasting room for the tourists; come to think of it, maybe it needs to be sorta olde-timey all round for the total tourist experience; probably needs some big vats for all that grape mash; well, there’s lots of things its gotta have.”
Cal knew what it meant when I started musing. He knew I was hooked, “Can you come down this weekend? She’s in a state and itching to get going right away.”
Ma with an itch is always trouble.
This seemed like an interesting diversion, and clients weren’t exactly beating my door down. “Yeah, I’ll be there tomorrow. Make sure some coffee’s brewing.”
I set to work drawing up some plans.
And that’s how I got to building this winery, and all you’ll need is in this shopping list,
{ list of materials }
That stuff should only set you back a couple of Twoonies and a Loonie. I kept costs low by making my own windows and doors, but feel free to substitute with your favourite castings. Shouldn’t take more than two weeks to build. That is of course if you don’t get too carried away watching tv on your iThingy while you’re working. That is unfortunately one of my failings.
{ instructions, instructions, instructions }
I thought I’d give Ma a call to ask her to come out to the site and take a look at how things were progressing. As I pulled my mobile phone out of my coat pocket Cousin Cal started up with that cackling laugh of his.
“Cus, when are you going to get a phone that doesn’t look it fell off a Soviet trawler and washed ashore in the North Atlantic in ’75?”
I had to admit I listed a bit when I walked around with it in my pocket. “It works just fine and it’s cheap to boot,” was my lame attempt at a witty retort while I punched Ma’s number into my one-kilo wonder.
“O look, there’s another one over there!” Cal pointed to a stray brick left on the ground. He was laughing so hard he started to cough.
I hoped he gagged. Ma’s phone rang.
“What!”
Ma was a little short on manners too.
“Do you want to come down to the field and have a look around?
“Sure,” was her reply.
The line clicked. What Ma lacked conversationally, Cousin Cal compensated for with hilarity. He was having a good old time, holding the brick up to his ear and in between fits of laughter chattering away to unseen listeners on the other end of the baked clay network.
But he sobered up as soon as he saw Ma’s ample silhouette striding across the field.
{ more instructions and hopefully a conclusion to the story }
And in the same vein as the The Cannonball and Safety Powder Works, what could be more tempting than a building that houses a flying machine filled with hydrogen with old-fashioned, poorly maintained sparking railroad engines nearby – the plot possibilities are endless :-) Which brings me to,
Al’s Airship Aerodrome
I was renewing my liability insurance this afternoon and started to wonder if I had ever told you about the time I built the airship hanger.
Well, one day a couple of years back this Brazilian gentleman called me up from Paris – Paris, France that is – and asked if I could build him a hanger down in the County for an airship. I was glad to hear that my reputation for frugality was known in some quarters of the City of Light. This fellow – I never could pronounce his name properly, so we agreed I’d just call him Al, which it turns out he rather liked, and he’d call me Monsieur M, which Cousin Cal thought was hilarious, but I was partial to the sound of it, but I’m getting ahead of myself. Al was a ‘Personal Blimp’ builder. I hadn’t heard of such an occupation, but I figured there are personal computers, personal trainers, even person pan pizzas, so why not personal blimps.
Anyway, he was coming over to the County for a few months to get this financier-turned-gentleman-farmer fitted out with a personal blimp, and all the things needed to own and operate one. That included a hanger to park it in. That’s where I came in. You might ask, why was a railroad man like myself called up for this project? Like I said, there’s frugality, but it did involve a considerable amount of railroad gear.
For one thing, there’s the doors. A blimp, even a personal-sized one, is mighty big. The doors on the garage needed to park this beast are 50 feet tall and 25 feet wide. Now, Al is one smart cookie and on the hanger his guys built in Monaco, he figured out how to make the doors ride on rails so that even a 10-year-old kid could push them open. Given that Cousin Cal is the spittin’ image of the ‘before’ guy in those Charles Atlas ads, this was just his speed.
But, as things turned out, it wasn’t Cousin Cal’s lack of muscle power that tripped up this project, it was his lack of brain power. A blimp garage is more-or-less one gigantic loco shed, so the other railroad thing you need, is some track for hauling in blimp parts, and for bringin’ in helium tanks if hydrogen just won’t do. Al’s one of those renegades who swears by hydrogen for these things – none of that expensive helium for him. No sir. He makes it – hydrogen that is – himself right there in the shed. According to Al, hydrogen is like a woman –if they are treated with care and respect, then all will be well. Unfortunately for him he never met Cousin Cal and his ancient loco. Track, an old sparking loco, lots of hydrogen nearby: you can see where this is going. Well, more on this later. Here’s what you’ll need to build a blimp aerodrome to service the more responsible personal airship aficionados on your pike...
[7] John Allen published an article in the September 1949 issue of Model Railroader called Making Miniature Figures. In it he showed how to build HO and O scale figures by forming wax over a wire armature. I thought of giving it a try, but in the end I figured it was way beyond my skill level. Mr. Moore never mentions in his Put Your Figures to Work article whether he read the John Allen article even though he states he’s a great admirer of Mr. Allen’s custom figures and scenes.
Ten years after Mr. Moore’s article appeared, Jack Work published an article called Make your own scale figures in the February 1965 issue of Model Railroader that did directly address the John Allen figure article. In it, Mr. Work discusses how one can use water putty instead of wax to build up figures. Mr. Work’s article did seem to greatly improve the techniques described by John Allen, but they were still too difficult for me.
This set me off on a little expedition into Jack Work articles, and in the process I came across one called Lineside supply shed in the September 1958 issue of Model Railroader, which describes how to build a tool house primarily using cardboard. It’s quite a charming and nicely detailed project.
[8] I don't know what, if any, business relationships Mr. Moore may have had with the model railroading industry. Did he have a financial relationship with the company that made Weston brand figures? I don't know. A number of the projects that featured in his articles were turned into plastic kits. What sort of deal did he have with those kit manufacturers? Again, I don't know, but I'm planning a future post on projects that got turned into kits. Hopefully, I'll find out some answers.
[9] I bought a Flexible Freddy and had a go at seeing what I could do with him.
Here's what Fred looks like straight from the package. He's a metal casting that's bendable, and can be assembled into a wide range of poses.
One of his arms seemed a little misshapen, so I thought about replacing it with an arm from some other figure. I have some old Airfix HO/OO RAF airmen figures on hand and thought one might make a good donor.
You can see the problem. Those airmen are more OO than HO, and look like giants compared to HO Freddy. Using an arm from one of them makes Fred look like he's been doing too many bench presses :-)
Instead, I looked for a suitable donor from a box of unpainted model power HO figures. This is a very economical way to buy figures these days. That box cost $12.95 and contains 72 figures; however, it contains lots of duplicates. Even so, it's far cheaper than buying pre-painted HO figures.
And here's Freddy with his new arm courtesy of a model power citizen. Freddy now has super-glue induced arthritis to help hold him together. But, the joints could be broken apart or bent to put him in other positions.
And here he is after a little rudimentary painting. Ready for a screen test!
Its raw materials are the standard commercial HO scale products that are widely available to model railroad hobbyists in North America. With them he builds a wide range of fantastical structures, and presents them in a variety of situations. People are usually present, doing things, going about life, albeit, often a life strongly influenced or defined by those structures. Like an E. L. Moore scene, there’s always lots of human – and often animal – activity going on, and there are rarely barren structure-scapes devoid of people.
The AGO also prepared a family activity book for children to accompany the exhibit – a nice touch. One of the questions it posed to kids was this rather deep one: "If you were making your own world, what objects would you use?". It’s also a good one to think about when planning a model railroad.